At 11:30 on Monday I hopped in this machine to get a chest MRI. I'm happy to report that my tumor is about 1 cubic centimeter. FYI - I started out at roughly 100 cubic centimeters in January. Dr. Grainger said that even if the chemo has completely removed all of the cancer an MRI would show scar tissue where the cancer used to be. He said that it is impossible to tell the difference on an MRI between cancer and scar tissue. It will be interesting to find out at surgery just how much of the 1 centimeter is actually cancer. The MRI did not see any cancer in the lymph nodes. Again, we will have to wait until surgery to find out if these findings are completely accurate. Dr. Grainger said he was very happy with the MRI results and so am I!!! This is a blessing and an answer to prayers. I'm so greatful for your prayers on my behalf.
When I was in the MRI machine I couldn't help but flash back to January when I had my first MRI. I had a few tears as I remembered all of the uncertainty I felt that day. I still feel uncertainty. Now that uncertainity comes with a knowledge that all of this is completely out of my control. Some people might think that this realization might lead me to more anxiety/depression/anger but it doesn't. It helps me to accept my situation for what it is. I know I can't change anything about my cancer. The only thing I can control is myself and to keep fighting.
Do I still have bad days? Of course I do! Don't think for a second that I don't get emotional about what is happening to me. The majority of my days and weeks are filled with the things that I love like my kids, riding my bike, tennis, going out with friends, hanging with Joe and expecially NOT sweating the little things in life. So far that has helped me get though this disease.
When I was in the MRI machine I couldn't help but flash back to January when I had my first MRI. I had a few tears as I remembered all of the uncertainty I felt that day. I still feel uncertainty. Now that uncertainity comes with a knowledge that all of this is completely out of my control. Some people might think that this realization might lead me to more anxiety/depression/anger but it doesn't. It helps me to accept my situation for what it is. I know I can't change anything about my cancer. The only thing I can control is myself and to keep fighting.
Do I still have bad days? Of course I do! Don't think for a second that I don't get emotional about what is happening to me. The majority of my days and weeks are filled with the things that I love like my kids, riding my bike, tennis, going out with friends, hanging with Joe and expecially NOT sweating the little things in life. So far that has helped me get though this disease.
We will meet with Dr. Lilly on Thursday to discuss surgery. I have so many mixed feelings on my surgery options. One day I'm convinced to go one direction and another day I decide to choose a differet surgery. I feel like Dr. Lilly will guide me in the decision making process. I hope I am less conflicted when I leave his office. For now I am happy and I will live these next few days enjoying the weather and my family.
Dale,
ReplyDeleteI am so terrifically happy for you, Joe, Lauren and Jacob. It has not been easy to watch all of this happen to you. Your faith in God and testimony of Jesus Christ has sustained you and will sustain you through your trials in this life.
We have been praying for a miracle and it has happened. God and His angels have been watching over you and your family. I know that the days were long and the treatments were hard physically and mentally. You have suffered with dignity and grace. Weare better people because of your example.
I love you so much!
Mom