Sunday, April 1, 2012

Bye Bye A/C! I will not miss you.

It has been a difficult past two weeks. I finished my last A/C treatment. This was phase one of two chemo phases I will go though. My last treatment left me very tired and so sick to my stomach for a week. I was hopeful that I would be back to normal in three to four days like the last treatments. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have given myself a timetable to recover by. By day 3 and 4 I was feeling worse compared to days 1 and 2. When I didn't get better I mentally began to feel upset about what was happening to me.

Now that I am feeling physically better my mental state has improved. This weekend our church had general conference. Click here for more info. I noticed that a few of the talks mentioned people with cancer or just people that were sick in some way. I found one of the talks to be very relevant to my current situation. Here is a quote from the talk.

"Though many people face trials, adversities, disabilities, heartaches, and all manner of afflictions, a loving Savior will always be there, said Rasband. “He has promised: ‘I will not leave you comfortless: I will come unto you’ (John 14:18) ‘… My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid’” (John 14:27)."

A friend of mine that had breast cancer told me that the word afraid is used more than 200 times in the bible. Fear is one emotion I have felt in the past two months. My friend said "Take hour by hour, day by day.. but, "do not be afraid"... I just wanted to pass those words onto you. I know things get tough, especially the kind of past few days you just had! But, you will come through it. I would say, God is trying to pass along a message to us with those words!" I really try to live by this advice. When I do my days go better.

Don't get me wrong though. I have had some bright spots in the past few weeks. I had a whole day to myself. No kids and no husband just me!!!! We have had fun with our kids. We even took a road trip with friends a few weeks ago during spring break. Right now, I live for these moments. Nothing is more important to me than the people around me. Having the people I love around me is what is keeping me going though this.

My friend is setting up a team for the race for the cure. I spent some time looking at the komen website today. I think this website is an excellent resource for breast health. When I was first diagnosed I looked at the breast cancer page off of It left me very confused and I couldn't find any concrete info for my specific kind of cancer. This site has LOADS of info. A few little facts for you:

-There are 2.5 million breast cancer survivors in the US today.
-When breast cancer is found early the 5 year survival rate is 98%!
-Five percent of all breast cancers occur in women under age 40.

I also visited the shop komen page. I love this t-shirt!
I know I have talked about how awesome Joe has been during these past few months. He is more excited about the race for the cure than I am. He has been so positive though everything. Even when I am at my worst he has been my cheerleader. On a hard day when I was so sick he sat by me and worked on his laptop. I asked him "How can you love me when I'm like this?" He answered "I don't know how to not love you." Is this guy for real?

My friends have been so supportive. I get really emotional on infusion days. Before my infusion I started to cry. My friend Kate took my hand and said "You can do this." It was all I needed to stop crying and get it done. Other friends have watched my kids, brought me food, sent me texts (joe had to get me a new plan) e-mails and phone calls. I have felt so supported.

Tomorrow morning I will have an ultrasound to look at the tumor and see if it has changed. I'm hopeful that I will get good news. I know so many people who are sending positive thoughts and prayers my way. I'm grateful for that.

1 comment:

  1. Keep us updated! I will be praying for you. Hopefully you can cut the treatments short.